Bloqueo

Bloqueo

Una de las desgracias más insoportables para quien escriba por amor a la escritura es, justamente, la incapacidad de romper la blancura de la página incorrupta. Ese vacío refleja la mente y el alma del escribiente. Un desierto en el que no se asoma ni una letra, y los falsos oasis son esos párrafos escribimos y rápidamente los eliminamos.

Una sombra señala al escribiente un vacío creativo, una muestra de que en su haber nunca ha escrito nada digno, y no pocas horas gasta el sujeto en comprender su acelerada pérdida de inspiración y facilidad con la pluma. ¿O será, acaso, una dura revelación del talento que nunca tuvo? Porque no importa cuantos libros lea al año, no puede franquear ese límite que existe entre la pluma y el papel, aquel límite vacuo que tiñe la hoja de blanco.

Es prácticamente un consenso general que la lectura constante hace al escritor, pero tal vez esto dependa de lo que éste sujeto lea, porque la literatura de calidad deslumbra al lector asiduo, pero desalienta a quien tiene aspiraciones literarias, al idealista por sobre todo. Pero a su vez, sirve como una suerte de tamiz para separar a los que de verdad tienen potencial de los comunes y corrientes. Pero quizá esto dependa de qué tanto valore la buena literatura el aspire a escribir, porque si el amor al buen arte del aspirante es muy grande, no se animará este a manchar el oficio con sus vanos intentos.

Cada día nuevo frente al papel en blanco es como una autoflagelación, es trepar a la montaña de Sísifo creyendo que en su cumbre se encontrarán ideas o la inspiración necesaria para generar unos buenos párrafos; para luego simplemente caer en la improductividad de siempre. Es un ensayo y error que nunca genera nada más que la perpetuación del vacío. No importa lo que se intente, no importa el calibre de las ideas ni lo promisorio de las corazonadas, el vacío blanco reaparece y se mantiene así durante periodos cada vez más largos.

Otros aducen el bloqueo del escritor a una falta de equilibrio en la vida personal del escribiente, el no poder concentrarse en la escritura por estar preocupados por las vicisitudes de la vida. Pero con ejemplos como el de Fiódor Dostoievski, quien su estadía en prisión le dio una visión inigualable de lo que significa ser humano en toda su plenitud, o un Scott Fitzgerald que escribió magistralmente, en el peor momento de su vida, una serie de ensayos sobre la desgracia del derrumbe humano, que más tarde desembocaría en su “Suave es la noche”, hacen tambalear al criterio que supone que la calidad nace del equilibrio psicológico y, por llamarlo de alguna manera, social.

Entonces, ¿en dónde debe buscar una cura, un elixir, o la panacea para el bloqueo quien sufra de un vacío literario, creativo? No se puede decir a ciencia cierta.

El horror vacui convierte esta experiencia en una fobia, hace temblar las manos ante el teclado, hace que un bolígrafo se convierta en una pieza pesada de plomo que dificulta trazar las primeras letras.

El esfuerzo infructuoso se convierte en una ponzoña que lentamente adormece los ánimos, los sentidos. Entonces, ya carente de grandes ambiciones, se aboca uno en la búsqueda de la aquella estulticia consoladora, se sumerge tanto en ella hasta convertirse en un hombre-masa, quien encuentra consuelo para su ineptitud, su mediocridad, su vacuidad, en el grito de la masa, en la corriente de pensamiento predominante pero infértil. Porque no importa que tan grande sea la insensatez, siempre y cuando se amolde al criterio de la masa será aplaudida, será festejada en el ritual del me gusta.

Y es así como se corrompen las promesas, los talentos emergentes. Es muy difícil resistirse a la estupidez cuando ofrece tanto confort, tanta facilidad, tanta ilusión. En su bando todo resulta más fácil, pero a un costo para nada módico: el suicidio del buen gusto.

No se puede asegurar si existe la posibilidad o, en su defecto, una imposibilidad absoluta de una especie de resurrección intelectual, pero generalmente quien abraza a la masa ya no vuelve, o vuelve a medias, para luego regresar corriendo a ella porque la desintoxicación del confort no es fácil de sobrellevar: se necesita demasiado carácter, cosa de la que adolece todo aquel perteneciente a la masa.

El bloqueo es la prueba de fuego, es el límite en el que, generalmente, se debe sentar una postura, tomar una decisión: aguantar el insoportable esplendor de la página en blanco, o sucumbir en la cultura de la masa para cubrir aquel vacío.

Quien escribe estas líneas quiere creer que se encuentra en una especie de limbo, pero quién mejor que el lector para arbitrar esta cuestión de límites.

Rodolfo Sosa

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