La odisea de Ulises Odiseo Martínez Jara

La odisea de Ulises Odiseo Martínez Jara

El fin de la faena ya se hacía sentir con el intenso trajín de furiosos automóviles que perpetraban el éxodo de una madre de ciudades desgastada, olvidada, sucia, destruida… Y los menos favorecidos iniciaban su peregrinación hacia los puntos de encuentro común. Pero uno de ellos en cierto momento, se daba cuenta de que había olvidado algo esencial y excluyente: cargar saldo a un plástico taciturno y superfluo para poder, curiosamente, poder volver a su casa.

Inició así su odisea. De hecho, curiosamente el personaje se llamaba Ulises Odiseo Martínez Jara. Ingresó a una de esas famosas tiendas en donde te cobran hasta por respirar, en donde tan solo debés dar tu número de cédula y ya te sale el monto que tus acreedores furiosamente te llaman a requerir, durante todo el día. Pero, también en la puerta decían: “aquí cargamos tu plástico superfluo”. Así, con toda la confianza del mundo, Ulises Odiseo se dirigió a una hermosa pero amargada joven que oficiaba de cajera, que golpeaba airadamente con sus pulgares a su desgraciado celular gastado por las caídas infructuosas de la negligencia o la psicopatología.

– Buen día, señorita, saludó cordialmente Ulises Odiseo.

– ¿Qué necesita?, lo interpeló la cajera sin siquiera mirarlo.

– Deseo cargar mi plástico superfluo para poder volver a mi casa en Villa Ítaca, por favor, solicitó cándidamente.

– No tenemos sistema, dijo secamente la joven.

-Ah, entiendo- respondió Ulises Odiseo, un poco decaído, pero luego preguntó en qué otro lugar podía recargar su tarjeta superflua.

-No sé, ni me importa, respondió la cajera secamente.

Sin ganas de unirse al teatro de la furia, por ser un viernes y estar reventado por una intensa jornada en Troya S.A., empresa donde trabajaba de 07 a 18:00 todos los días, Ulises Odiseo decidió retirarse sin hacer mucho ruido y reemprender su búsqueda.

Pero su regreso a su hogar en Villa Ítaca demoraría más de lo que había calculado puesto que, ya había recorrido como una decena de lugares en donde supuestamente, se hacía la recarga de su tarjeta superflua, tal y como lo había anunciado con bombos y platillos un alto funcionario del Ministerio de Obras Públicas y Comunicaciones en todos los medios. Recordaba Ulises Odiseo cómo aseguraban, tanto las autoridades y los medios de comunicación, que el inicio de esa modalidad fue “todo un éxito”, “que por fin los paraguayos entrarían a la modernidad”, con ostentosos titulares en primera plana virtual de la prensa amiga y se preguntaba, cómo la realidad era tan distinta.

Pero ignoró la semilla del cuestionamiento que amenazó con germinar porque no quería ser uno de aquellos “haters” que critican todo lo que el buen Gobierno busca hacer. Tal vez el problema era él, que lo hacía todo a última hora, como argumentan aquellos que defienden a uñas y dientes a la tarjeta superflua. Pensó que sólo él tenía la culpa y continuó buscando un lugar dónde recargar su plástico y poder regresar a Villa Ítaca, siendo humillado y maltratado en cada lugar al que ingresaba porque era su culpa hacerlo a última hora, pero jamás, ni de casualidad, de quienes impusieron un sistema que no funcionaba a la hora de la verdad, eso es simplemente una blasfemia digna de contreras en un mundo plastificado por la estulticia más atroz.

Crédito de la Imagen: La Nación.

Por fin consiguió un lugar donde hacer su trámite. Pero la cosa no terminaría ahí, porque cuando llegó el colectivo de la línea Villa Ítaca Express, al momento de querer pagar el pasaje, una máquina ―cual oráculo― le dijo con letras en su pantalla que, su saldo era insuficiente. Al notar esto, el conductor de la línea lo obligó, con toda la cordialidad posible, para un ogro, a descender del bus e ir a recargar el plástico superfluo.

– Pero señor -dijo Ulises Odiseo-, acabo de recargar la tarjeta.

– No sea usted mentiroso- le inquirió el chófer-, la máquina nunca miente, el único que podría mentir es usted. Así que bájese del bus y vaya a pagar su tarjeta superflua si quiere volver a su hogar, nde arruinado que anda. Esa última frase lamentable posicionaba su humanidad en una situación lamentable, lastimera, cuasi surreal… (le dieron náuseas, empezó a respirar agitadamente, los sudores mojaban sus axilas y sus pies ya no caminaban, se arrastraban como las patas de un perezoso)

Cuando descendió las risas no se hicieron esperar. Ulises Odiseo, ofuscado, fue a reclamar al lugar donde hizo la recarga, pero un guardia lo tomó del brazo y lo sacó a la calle porque “no era responsabilidad de la empresa”, que el sistema de la tarjeta superflua no haya recibido la recarga, además ya estaban por cerrar. “La próxima haga su recarga mucho antes”, le dijo el guardia.

– Pero, ¿cómo podría hacerlo más temprano si salgo del trabajo a las 18:00?, quiso preguntar Ulises Odiseo, pero con un portazo el guardia liquidó sus ganas de “hacerse el contrera”.

Entonces decidió llamar a la atención al cliente que figuraba al dorso de la tarjeta superflua, y esperó por una hora a ser atendido mientras escuchaba una y otra vez una polca de mala muerte que sólo aumentaba la presión de sus nervios. Sin lograr hablar con ningún representante, Ulises Odiseo cortó la llamada con un furioso “dedazo” a la pantalla táctil.

Y así fue como Ulises Odiseo, harto de buscar dónde recargar su maldita tarjeta superflua, decidió subirse a un taxi. Al final el retorno a su hogar, que en situaciones normales debía de costarle sólo 2.300 guaraníes, le terminó costando casi 80.000 guaraníes entre su recarga fantasma y el costo del viaje en taxi.

Al llegar, Ulises Odiseo quería olvidar su odisea abriendo una cerveza, pero ya no había ninguna en su heladera y sus últimos 80.000 había sido gastados absurdamente, por lo que finalmente, enojado, cabreado, con los nervios echando humo por la creciente rabia, se tomó agua de la canilla y al día siguiente no pudo ir a trabajar porque le dio una diarrea galopante y terminó suspendido por dos días sin goce de sueldo por no presentar un justificativo médico visado por el IPS. Encima, la ESSAP había cortado el suministro por un supuesto atentado a su planta de Viñas Kué. El corte, duraría tres días con sus noches…

Rodolfo Sosa

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